Unobtainable
by luckless-is-me
Summary: He wasn't someone within reach for Remus. It would just be too wrong. A request for ElephantRhino on DA.


**This was as a request for my friend ElephantRhino on deviantart. (I wish I could remember her fanfiction name). **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**Hope you enjoy! **

Ebony black hair, midnight black eyes, a finely chiseled face, and muscled arms topped off by that perfect toothy grin. Perfection. Just perfection. Perfection by the name of Sirius Black. The boy with the cocky laugh. The ability to break any rule. The carefree nature. The fiery temper. The boy who was only a mere ten feet away, animatedly describing his latest shag…

Because he liked curvy, beautiful girls and would never give the plain, sickly Remus Lupin a second thought in that way. Unknowingly, Sirius Black would continue to gain shy glances out of the other boy's golden eyes. And, Remus would continue to selfishly watch his every move. Even if it was wrong of him to want him. To _need_ him. He just couldn't help himself. Sirius was just too perfect. Too…

_Unobtainable_.

"Earth to Moony, you're supposed to be helping me." Remus jumped, his tawny locks falling into his golden eyes, an invisible glare sent off to James. Grudgingly, he pulled his eyes away from that perfection that was Sirius to a very impatient James Potter. It wasn't that he didn't like James; it was just that he _loved_ Sirius.

Sighing deeply in the back of his throat, Remus once again tried to explain the DNA sequence required when transforming a newt into an owl. Yes, this was all he was. The little bookworm that helped the others with their class work. Oh, what fun.

The grounds surrounding Hogwarts were always peaceful. With the Forbidden Forest just that, forbidden, the large trees in the center of the grounds were the best place to be if one wanted to sit and think and take in the warm, near-summer air. And, it was definitely the one place that Sirius Black would never ever go, making it the ideal spot for Remus, who simply wanted to get away from the one whom haunted him in his sick dreams, even if he could only get away for a moment.

So, like any other day Moony just had to get away from it all, he disappeared from the Gryffindor common rooms and made the long trek to that little clump of trees in the exact middle of the grounds, where he sat and looked up at the sky, his back even with one of the many tree trunks. All of his many troubles simply melted away, leaving only him to sit and relax. Or, so he had originally thought.

"Good evening, Lupin." Remus jumped up, eyes wide open in shock. He could clearly see the superior smirk planted on the bleach blond's pale face. Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy.

"What do you want, Lucius?" The blond laughed a rather cocky laugh, back straight, those royal robes of his billowing in the light wind.

"What I want?" A devilish smirk formed on his lips. "I think this is more about what you want. Wouldn't you agree?" Moony sighed, rubbing at his temples. He really wasn't in the mood for Lucius' silly games. He could be here for hours trying to figure out what the man was trying to say and, frankly, he just wasn't up for it today. "Oh, you aren't even going to guess? Very well then, I'll tell you. _I know your secret_."

Remus' eyes darkened. He knew! He knew…how on earth could he know? The Marauders were always so careful on those full moon nights. They always stayed hidden. They never talked about it outside of the secrecy of the Shrieking Shack. There's no way Lucius could know. Not unless someone told him. And, the only ones who knew about it other than himself were James, Sirius, Peter, and Dumbledore. James was far too loyal to tell. Sirius hated Slytherin too much. Peter…well, maybe, but most likely not. And, there wasn't a chance that Dumbledore would tell. So, how? How could he know? It just wasn't-

"You love Sirius Black." No…how could he…no one was supposed to…wait. He didn't know that he was a werewolf? Knowing that was a relief, but Remus couldn't decide which was worse: Lucius knowing he turned into a beast at the strike of the full moon or that he was so sick as to have the hots for another guy. Neither option made Remus feel particularly happy. In fact, the both made him a bit sick to his stomach.

"You…know…"

"But of course. It's so very obvious in the way you look at him. The way your eyes linger just a tad bit too long. Now, would you like for me to keep this a secret or broadcast it to the entire school? I do wonder what would happen then. You would become the disgrace of the Gryffindor House!" Lucius let out a haughty laugh, that evil smirk still stretched out across his face, like some kind of predatory snake. "I could keep it for you, you know. You just have to do a little something for me. Now, which shall it be? Hmm?"

Remus gritted his teeth. It hurt, but only because everything Lucius said was true. Sirius would hate him if his secret got out. It was only a natural reaction after all. It was a well-known fact that Sirius had shagged half the girls in the entire school, regardless of their year. Why should he tarnish his reputation for Remus? After all, he was only the sickly little bookworm.

"I'll keep my mouth shut…" Lupin whispered, mostly to his feet. Lucius' face lit up, not that it hadn't already been beaming with a sick form of satisfaction.

"Such a wise choice. Crab, Goyle, grab him." In seconds, Remus found himself tightly help in between the two Hogwarts thugs, who had crept up behind him mere moments earlier. "Now, you see, Lupin, I want a little bit of revenge on the Marauders…"

"What has you so worried, mate?" Sirius sighed, stopping mid-pace to watch James out of the corner of his eye. What he wouldn't give to be as carefree as he always was; it's like nothing could ever touch him. Nothing could ever worry him.

"Moony isn't back yet." James sighed, that characteristic smile playing across his lips. Sirius knew what was coming. James was going to do the same thing he always did…

"Why don't you just tell him instead of worrying about him all of the time, Padfoot? You're giving yourself ulcers." Padfoot just shook his head, sighing as he took a seat across from James. It's not that he didn't want to tell Remus how he felt about him, he just couldn't. Imagine what he would say if he found out that his friend, his imale/i friend was in love with him. The poor guy was already stressed enough about his schoolwork and keeping his beastly side hidden. It would just be selfish of Sirius to stress him out even more.

"You know I can't." James just rolled his eyes, setting aside his homework and standing up so that he towered over Sirius' sitting form.

"Come on then." In the blink of an eye, James had Sirius by the arms and was dragging him out of the common room. Promptly, he shoved him out into one of Hogwarts many hallways, while he stayed safely behind the Fat Lady's portrait. "Now, don't come back until you tell him, mate, or I'll smother you in your sleep." And, like that James was gone. And, of course, Sirius had to do exactly as he said. After all, Sirius could never tell when James was being serious or not.

The halls of Hogwarts were seldom empty. However, tonight they were strangely silent. One could even hear the rats scurrying about in the old walls. Not that that was a particularly pretty picture, but one could never be choosy in places as old as Hogwarts. Sirius was never bothered by the rats or spiders or any other creepy-crawly for that matter. He was a bit too roughed to be the rich-boy he was born as, but that was fine. He never really wanted to portray a rich-boy. For, what kind of rich-boy would be prowling the halls after curfew, hell bent on telling another boy just how much he loved them? Not any rich-boy he'd ever met.

Which brings us to why Sirius was prowling the halls in the first place: Remus was nowhere to be found. Even though Sirius had begun his search hours earlier, he had yet to see hide nor hair of Remus. Which was, of course, rather odd. Remus was always back in the common rooms before curfew, the rule-abiding boy that he was, and Sirius could attest to the fact that Remus had not gone up to the common rooms. Where exactly was he?

Pain was not something that Remus didn't know. He felt pain on the night of every full moon and for several nights afterwards. However, that pain was nothing compared to this. His arms, legs, stomach, head…everything hurt. It was as if someone had put him through a meat-grinder and made the leftover pieces into sandwich meat. Of course, that wasn't exactly right. He was still in one piece and the worst he had was probably nothing more than a bruise or two. No, Remus wasn't physically hurt nearly as much as he was mentally hurt. How could someone be so awful as to use someone's feelings against them? It didn't matter. Remus' feelings were just too _wrong_ to be accepted by anyone else. He should have expected such a…beating, for lack of a better word.

Remus knew that he should leave. He knew that it was past curfew and that who-knows-what came out at night. He knew that his friends would be worried. And, he knew that lying on the ground for the night wasn't the best for one's health. But, even so, he couldn't make himself stand up and walk away. He was just there with no wish to be anywhere else.

"Moony?" But, perhaps if he would have left things like this wouldn't have to happen. "Oh, Godric, Moony, what in the hell happened?" And, of course, the one to find him would be the one who inadvertedly caused the attack in the first place. Life just really wasn't going his way lately.

Remus opened his golden eyes with minimal effort, training them on the midnight depths above him. Sirius Black. It was always Sirius Black. And…Remus couldn't bring himself to hate that fact.

"…yes?"

"Don't 'yes' me! What are you doing out here?" It was such a strange thing when one saw Sirius Black frantic, and Remus couldn't bring himself to understand why he would act in such a way. He was just the bookworm, right? They didn't have any essays due, so why would he care? Why would the health of _Remus Lupin_ matter to the _Sirius Black_? It shouldn't, it didn't, it couldn't. It wasn't plausible, nor was it possible. "How did you get like this? You look…you look like shit. Oh, Godric, Remus, what in the hell happened to you?" Sighing slightly with uneven breaths, Padfoot helped Remus sit up, nearly wincing himself when Remus flinched away.

"Does it matter?" Remus watched Padfoot out of the corner of his eye, sneaking a glance just as he always had.

"Does what matter?" Sirius couldn't help but ask. Remus just wasn't making nay sense. Why would he be so…calm when he was like this? It was just wrong…so wrong.

"Does what happened to me really matter?" Remus clarified, groaning a little as he stood up by himself. Yes, he felt fine. Hurt, but fine nonetheless.

"Of course it matters! I'm going to tear them limb from limb!" Sirius growled, eyes ablaze. How peculiar. Remus couldn't help but tilt his head. Now, why would something like this make Sirius so mad? They were friends, but friends didn't care so much as to wish death upon others just for a little beating, right? Right. So, why would Sirius be acting like this was the end of the world for him? Why would he be so…concerned? It just didn't make any sense at all.

"Why…why do you care so much?" The golden-eyed boy whispered to his feet, stopping Sirius mid-rant. He couldn't understand why Remus was being so calm about this. And, to have him ask something like that…did he really not know how much he cared for him? Did he really have no idea?

Sirius sighed, sitting down, pulling Remus along with him. It had taken him too long to tell Remus about his feelings. Far too long if this was Remus' reaction to him. He should just get it over with, despite the consequences that it might cause for their friendship. James would stand behind him no matter what, so at least he had that sense of security. "Listen, Moony, you know I care about you, right?" Remus' eyebrows knitted together, showing that no, he did not know. Sirius couldn't suppress his elongated sigh at that. "Well, I do, okay? I care about you a lot. More than," he gulped, "…more than I should." Remus' eyes lit up at that. Maybe…maybe he had a chance. "I think that I might…love you." Sirius braced himself for the onslaught of repulsed emotions he knew would be coming. Remus couldn't love him back. That just wouldn't make any sense.

"Sirius…do you mean that?" The ebony-haired boy nodded, hiding himself behind his overgrown bangs. He should be happy. Remus hadn't started screaming. He hadn't run away in complete repulsion. He hadn't even bitten out a disgusted remark. Sirius really should be happy with this, but he wasn't. He didn't know what he had been expecting. A loving embrace, maybe? No…he couldn't even hope for acceptance. "You really love me? But…why me? I mean, I'm nothing compared to all those girls that try to court you, or, even any of the guys. Why me, Sirius? Why me?"

Sirius couldn't help but smile at that. "Why not you?"

"Because…because…I'm sick and pale and beastly and the bookworm and- and-"

"Remus Lupin, the guy I just so happen to have fallen for." That shut Moony's entire mind down. The guy he fell for. The guy that loved him. They were one in the same. All of his worrying, all of the energy he spent telling himself that this would never happen was wasted.

"Would you hate me if I said that I loved you too?" Nothing in the world could ever outshine that carefree smile that Sirius couldn't keep off of his finely chiseled face.

"Now why would I do such a thing?" Sirius said in mock hurt holding a hand over his heart. "How could I ever hate you?" And, just like that, he leaned in just enough to leave a lasting peck on Remus' pale lips. "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Remus just shook his head, a cute, shy smile playing on his lips. "It doesn't even matter anymore." He let his lips lightly ghost over Sirius', relishing in the warmth. He couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe…

_Unobtainable might not be so unobtainable anymore._

**That turned out a lot longer than it was supposed to...hmm.**

**Please review, feedback is loved! ^-^**


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